My Gift - A self-reflecting journey

Starting thinking about my gift

After playing Life is Strange, one of my favorite video game series. I notice every main character has their own gift, discovered during their life journey. Their gift appears after a special event, and most likely, developed during a time of childhood trauma etc.

Everyone has their personality, and they are different. Does that means everyone has their gift? I like the word "gift"¹, it's the core of the main character in the "Life is Strange" series. I want to find my gift.

Thinking about my possible gift

After reflecting on myself, I found the following traits.

• I have a strong desire to pursue my dream or a state I feel good.
• In my teenage years, I believe my parents hindered me from pursuing my dream.
• I am resilient. I don't give up.

What impact do those traits have on me

When I encounter something that hinders me, I get stressed and try to do my best to bypass that stressor and try to make my life a better state for me.

Interpersonal relationship

• I feel someone is making me stress if a special event happens, sometime even worse that I feel the stressor is intentionally making stress.
• My thought may be wrong, I never try to make anyone stressed intentionally, but do they feel that way sometime due to misunderstanding?

Price of a gift

Gifts are often developed from a trauma, if it is from a trauma, it then has a price. Like the video game Life is Strange, when you use your gift, you have a price to pay, you have to think about consequences. By analyzing and understanding what is the price can help me do better at risk management.

One part of my stress turns into motivation, those are things I can control, I can try effort to make the situation better. While another part of my stress turns into anxiety, those are things I can't control, I couldn't help with it since I can't control it, right?

When I notice something I can't control, I will stop making an effort on it. And focus on those things I can control. It will make me feel less anxiety as well as satisfied as I am pursuing what I should be doing.

What is a better state that I desired

I watched "How to Train Your Dragon" and "The Social Network" in my teenage. Those are my favorite movies. I like it because I strongly feel the same way as the main characters. I think I can find what I want to do from those movies.

The main character of the first one wanted to be a fighter like others, wanted to make a contribution. And then later he found something interesting. He went to another way that nobody accepts, he showed his empathy to a dragon, the enemy, and made an effort to understand and be friendly with the enemy. He had to make good planning, act discreetly, he showed the amazingness he discovered to his friend. When the world dismisses what he owns. He chooses the crazy way and didn't give up to do his discovery and made that accepted by the majority.

The main character of the second one was angry at someone, he created a computer program to express his emotion. Unlike the first one, he is not normal and didn't want to be others. He focused on what his good at. He then expanded his computer program later, he met people who inspired him and people who understood him later, as well as people who didn't like him, he focused all the way on the same goal, and tried to make that big, unbelievable big, ignored distractors and make a huge impact to the internet in the end.

The common factor of those stories

• They were not accepted and wanted to be so.
• They choose to be themselves and not others.
• They believed in themselves and made their own way.

The gift

Combining the above, although I feel stressed and anxiety sometime, if I can transition stress into motivation and try to eliminate the feeling of anxiety, I will have a strong desire to pursue my dream, and I will be resilient to make my dream come true.